Attention all single ladies !

After nearly two years of the dating game and hopeless tinder hookups I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the late nights , hangovers and waste of time is nothing more than damaging to my self esteem. 


Watching Bridget Jones latest movie , alone on a Saturday night was some what a wake up call. I enjoyed the wave of contentment and sparkle of solitude. A hilarious , girly romantic comedy was long overdue! Stuffing my face with chocolate and chips in my daggy pjs never felt more comfortable.


I guess this reminded me , Im living my own story. Why am I wasting my time searching for someone to complete or excite my life?  I can do it on my own , the rest will work out in time. I’ve realised how much energy I have been using thinking about others and forming expectations of happiness in comparison to society.

I was questioning myself as to why all this dating was getting me nowhere , why I couldn’t further these connections. So I dug deep. Listened to my gut. I thought to myself , well I’m not putting myself first and during the process chipping away at my confidence. Im screaming desperado and insecurities. Like a wild chihuahua on heat in search for a mate.  


THATS NOT ATTRACTIVE. Makes sense right? 

Also I wouldn’t like anyone who actually likes those qualities in me. I wasn’t at my strongest mentality entering my last relationship , which proved years of ups and downs! 


Like someone told me NO MAN ON GODS GREEN EARTH WILL BRING COMPLETE HAPPINESS thats not to say love isn’t bliss and beautiful , but points out it is not the be all and end all. Relationships are not going to solve your problems, and would it really feel right having one just to fill a void. 

So its time to refocus – laugh at myself – have faith in my future – take care of me , and live free. 

We are all unique , but we are not alone. Single ladies need to flaunt independence but stick together.


My modo today:

“I’m  Fearless & Ferocious MY LIFE – MY STORY “


Kortni Portia xx




One thought on “*THE INDEPENDANT*

  1. It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it!
    Nobody likes desperation or blatant displays of neediness…..not from someone they don’t know, but I’ll come back to why I think there’s exceptions to those somewhat…excessive displays of emotion.

    After many nights lying in bed overtired but wide awake from the lonliness-powered wishstorms in my mind, I’ve decided that timing is everything. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to approach the dating scene, so long as you’re being yourself. That being said, those feelings of limerence and desire that flood through your veins like some kind of mind-altering drug need to be put in check.
    Sex is the easist scenario to describe what I mean by timing, but I think on a deeper level, timing of emotional displays can be applied to the whole spectrum of love, intimacy and relationship…it’s just slightly harder to articulate those connections without writing a series of ‘Dating for Dummies’ books!

    I listen. ..I observe…I ask questions, when it comes to dating. What do women want, on average? What makes them talk to one guy and ignore another, without even giving the chance to represent himself as a prospective partner? Timing. We all want the same thing, but men rush! If we find a woman attractive, we’re not necessarily considering what could happen down the line. We’re *wired* to want intimacy and physical contact (in the immediate) with someone we are attracted to. And because we openly display this, it would appear than men are the sexually aggressive gender….and my goodness that is NOT the case.

    Timing is everything.

    Women get angry or frustrated with men for wanting NOW, the SAME THING that the woman will want MORE, a week later when her prerequisites for comfort, safety and intellectual attraction finally blend with the physical (which was there the SAME moment his was…).

    How many times, ladies, have you met a man who has pulled out all stops….spared no expense to relieve you of your clothes (which you spent an hour choosing), which you reluctantly went aling with because you saw potential…..just to have him making excuses a eeek later when you’re in bed, mind fritzing, body fucking PULSING because you want sex….unable to comprehend why this guy is saying no after all the effort he put in a week ago.

    We’re just like you. We need the emotional. We need the intellectual. We need the SAME boxes ticked in order to move forward with a relationahip. The only thing letting the system down is *timing*. Sex in the first week basically ruins everything.

    Make him wait. Set your own schedule.
    If he’s serious, he’ll do it happily.

    As for the neediness and intense displays of emotion?
    Like it or not, men need sex to feel loved. Women need love to have sex (that they’re not ashamed of).
    So what does that cause? Emotional displays from her, which usually freak us out and put walls up. But again, it’s timing. When those emotional connections I’m talking about are satisfied in the man….my fucking god, being needed and loved is the best feeling in the world…because we feel how genuine it is. It’s not scary…we’re at the point where we want to keep you….displays of love and affection augment our own feelings and beat down insecurity.

    But time it right.

    Peace ☺

    Liked by 1 person

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